Here in Highland Park, New Jersey

My husband reads the parsha in depth every week. This week, he said, he gets off easy. There is not a lot of Rashi commentary, because a lot of the parsha is repetition of what was previously said. So, my son wisely asks, why does it need to be repeated? “That’s tonight’s question, replies my husband. Easier to ask questions than to give answers.” A basic theme of this blog, too.

I found one Rashi commentary that is in this week’s parsha but not in last week’s, Ki Tisa. (This is with the help of Avigdor Bonchek, author of What’s Bothering Rashi.)
Exodus 35:34:

וּלְהוֹרֹת, נָתַן בְּלִבּוֹ: הוּא, וְאָהֳלִיאָב בֶּן-אֲחִיסָמָךְ לְמַטֵּה-דָן.

And He hath put in his heart that he may teach, both he, and Ahaliav, the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan.

Rashi explains that Ahaliav, the son of one of Jacob’s maidservants, is on equal footing here with Bezalel, son of Leah, one of Jacob’s wives, in the holy work of constructing the Mishkan. This exemplifies Job 34:19: “He does not recognize the wealthy over the poor.”

Avigdor Bonchek explains that even though there is a very similar pasuk in Ki Tisa, that one does not get Rashi’s commentary, because that one uses the word “with”. “With” might mean Ahaliav is a subordinate. In VaYakhel, the pasuk uses “and”. “And” puts the two men on equal basis.

• Poppies. This week’s winning link. She’s promised us more almond tree bloom photos.
• A close runner up. Gail finished up her class. She should continue! See how much progress she has made: Art Diary
• Kumquat Salsa. I loved the orange of the kumquats against the blue background. It’s not just about how the food tastes. I’m savoring the magenta of the red onions, too.
• Some art journals.
• Watercolor paintings.
• Anna Ticho: I’ll finish with this painting, which is at the bottom of this 2004 Israel Museum newsletter.

Years ago I wrote a poem. About feeling lonely and trying to connect with others. I was newly married and had recently moved here, to Highland Park, New Jersey. I remember being invited to a family’s house for lunch, where they talked finishing basements and second grade teachers. My husband still jokes about finishing basements as the boring suburban topic that scares off singles and newlyweds. What do you say? Now that we have gone through two renovations in our house, we’ve been able to participate in such discussions. But in front of our single friends, we make it into a joke. So they will laugh and not feel alienated.

Getting back to the poem. Which I cannot find. I created this character called the “Alienation Beast.” This beast crops up every now and then when I am in crowds of people. You may have met this creature yourself! My mother, z”l (may her memory be a blessing) used to say “lonely in a crowd.” It’s sort of like that. But a beast is much more of a vivid description for me.

I decided to add a new category to my blog called “trying to connect.” Because that’s basically what this is all about. And I imagine I will talk about the “Alienation Beast” in future posts, the same as I talk about “Nutrition Nerd” in food and health posts.

Once you have children, it is easier to make connections in suburbia. Many of our friends here seem to have a son the same age as my middle son. With the parents of my daughter’s classmates, it is a stretch at times. We are both in our mid-forties. Many of the parents in my daughter’s grade seem to be in their twenties? My guess is there is a cultural gap, too; we went to a class on the poet and “anti-philosopher” Rabbi Yehuda HaLevi last night…these parents talk about shopping at Nordstrom and who they know from Brooklyn…OK, maybe I’m exaggerating a little to make a point.

I put up a comment on a blog recently. I felt like I was stating my opinion. My perspective. And the person basically wrote back that I was wrong. I’m wrong? It was an opinion. A view of life from how I see it. Do I ignore this? Do I never post anything again? OK, I posted one more post. And that one got twisted around by someone else. And now I feel like I really don’t want to post there anymore, anyway.

So, if you state your opinion, anywhere, and someone tells you that you are wrong, do you continue? Do you argue? Do you retreat? Is there a “right” way to handle the situation? Personally, I feel I give up too quickly. Maybe in person, if the person is important, one would try to work it out. But in the blogosphere, where many people are posting anonymously, is it even worth the effort?

Yesterday, Yoni posted this: Drinking on purim

Which got me to find this:
Rabbi Dr. Tzvi Hersh Weinreb: It is Not a Mitzvah to Get Drunk on Purim!

And this:
Orthomom: Rampant underage drinking

And then this:
Prof. K’s student, Matt: The Rambam on Drinking on Purim

I prefer this problem:

Every year, we decorate oatmeal containers for our Shaloch Manot (note: this is a bit like reverse-trick-or-treat–you give your friends food, at least two different kinds).

Here’s a photo from the first year we did this:

Below is last year’s theme (using Photoshop, I put the head of one member of the recipient family’s head on the king or on Mordechai, so it looked like that person was in the photo. Shown below are the undoctored photos, with the exception of my daughter’s head, which was doctored for this web posting):
    

The trouble is, we had such a great time with last year’s theme, we are having a hard time getting started with an idea for this year’s oatmeal containers. Everyone should have such problems!

Finally, I had a little time on Friday to peruse the parsha. But then my company arrived, and I didn’t have time until now to write a post. Instead of coming up with one in depth dvar torah, however, I am jotting notes of what would be interested to explore more:

- Counting at the beginning of the parsha. Why men counted and not women?
Rabbi Buchwald writes: “since the Jewish women did not participate in the sin of the Golden Calf, they were exempt from giving their half shekel”.

- Lion of Zion writes about hokhmat lev, as possibly being a Hebrew word for art. I’m not sure about this. It’s kind of like elevating all art to the level of Betzalel, who built the mishkan along with other artisans and were imbued by God with a divine spirituality to do this craftsmanship. I’m hoping Lion of Zion will write more on this topic.

- If you have 51 minutes, you can listen to an in-depth podcast about different levels of the Torah by Esther Wein. She’s a good speaker. At a basic level, for example, you shouldn’t take the law into your own hands and murder. At another level, you don’t want to embarrass someone; it’s considered to be like murder. You have to listen to the shiur (lesson) for a while to hear her talk about Sugihara, who saved the Mir Yeshiva and many other Jews in World War II. He was dismissed from his post in his own lifetime, but posthumously he was honored.

- What are the בִּגְדֵי הַשְּׂרָד ? Rashi says they were used to wrap the items in the Mishkan when traveling. Somewhere I saw a discussion of the word ’sered’; if I find it again, I will add a note here. Sered often means remnant.

- My father talked about how Moshe breaking the luchot, the tablets of the ten commandments, was Moshe’s greatest deed. Perhaps because Moshe did not want God to destroy B’nei Yisrael because of the Golden Calf, and by breaking the luchot he was teaching them a lesson and allowing them to do t’shuva and therefore saving them? (this one is really just a note to remember what my father told my husband and me on Shabbat).

- A fragment of a note: the word herut as engraving the tablets, relating the luchot to freedom (from my husband, who doesn’t remember the source).

- I have become a big fan of Avigdor Bonchek’s What’s Bothering Rashi series. On this parsha, he explains the insight of the Ramban on Betzalel. Betzalel, who had been a slave in Egypt, was considered a wonder as he mastered silver, gold, precious stones, wood carving, embroidery and weaving! God inspires this recently freed slave with uncanny God-given talents to build the mishkan.

Both Avigdor Bonchek and Nechama Lebowitz explore Exodus 31:13:

אַךְ אֶת-שַׁבְּתֹתַי, תִּשְׁמֹרוּ: כִּי אוֹת הִוא בֵּינִי וּבֵינֵיכֶם, לְדֹרֹתֵיכֶם.

Note the word אַךְ (akh). This is a limiting word, meaning something should limited…is it the building of the Mishkan or keeping Shabbat? Rashi and Ramban disagree on this subject. Rashi says we do not build the Mishkan on Shabbat. Ramban says there are times we do not keep Shabbat; even Shabbat has limits. From this our Sages learned, for example, that in cases were a life may be at risk (pikuach nefesh) we may break Shabbat.

Finally, Nehama Lebowitz has a lot to say about כִּי קָרַן עוֹר פָּנָיו . “…the skin of his face became radiant…” Michelangelo and other artists gave Moshe horns because of a mis-translation of this pasuk. Maybe by next year I will actually take the time to read this chapter, which she entitled: Moses Was Unaware His Face Shone.