Here in Highland Park, New Jersey

Baila reminded me that tonight is Yom HaShoa V’Hagvrua, the Day for Remembering the Holocaust and the Strength. “The Strength” is about the fact that the Jews did respond to their enemies, both physically and spiritually, unlike how my 9th grade Israeli-born Hebrew teacher told us that “they went like sheep.” Balashon explains the difference between the English term ‘Holocaust’ and the preferable Hebrew ‘Shoa’.

Personally, I like to recall the humanity of the annihilated European Jews. See, for example, the Jews of Warsaw in this charming video from 1939 (Hat tip: A Simple Jew). Many smiling faces, unaware of the upcoming danger. This was not the experience of the Jews in Germany, where my mother-in-law lived until 1938. That’s why more Jews from Germany were able to escape, because they lived under Hitler, they knew how bad it was, and if they could get out, they often did. One of the reasons I read Aharon Appelfeld is his lively, engaging characters do not yet face the worst of the Holocaust in his novels, but one feels the encroaching doom. Appelfeld’s theme is the assimilated Jew of pre-Holocaust Europe, who mistakenly believed that assimilation and the shedding of Judaism would equal salvation. I recently read much of The Seventh Well, by Fred Wander, an excellent book by a survivor who retells the stories of many Holocaust victims right before the victims’ deaths. I couldn’t finish the book because it was too upsetting. But maybe you have more of a stomach for reading about mistreated, dying humans in concentration camps.

Batya recalls never having been taught as a child about the Holocaust. No easy answers here, as I recall being terrified of taking a shower as a 4th grader after learning of Auschwitz. And it was scary to learn that my 4th grade Hebrew teacher had lost a sibling she had never known in the Holocaust.

Lion of Zion brings up diversity within the Jewish community as how to remember the Holocaust: Is the Moment of Silence Really “Goyish”?. I will end with questions: Can some diversity be healthy? Or is this just one more sign of how irreconcilable Jewish groups have become? (On this same topic: a video of a Charedi man hurrying home…)

Update: Since there are numerous commemorative posts coming in, I am going to link some here:

• Ilana-Davita: From a cemetery in her home town in France
• Lion in Zion: My Grandmother’s Holocaust
• A Mother in Israel: One family’s story
• ImaBima: How Many is 6 Million
• Daniel Saunders: Some Readings for Yom HaShoa
• Elinka: Fiction and non-fiction about the Holocaust
• SuperRaizy: From Auschwitz to the IAF (must read; very touching, personal)
• Prof K: My Parents were Camp Survivors (also very personal)
• Rubicon3: Ani Ma’amin

Who ate my tulips? Was it you? Or you?

Here are my tulips one week ago:

And here are the unhappy remnants today:

Most probably it was a deer. The deer live a few blocks away. Families that live close to RPRY on the Edison/Highland Park border report having a difficult time growing tulips. The deer gobble them up. In the past few years, gardeners in my neighborhood have also had to contend with the deer liking the taste of tulips. My neighbor down the block already knows of two ground hogs, but they nibble the ground plants. Like broccoli and canteloupe. Almost impossible to grow those here unless you grow them in a cage.

  
My husband told me there is a custom of fasting after Pesach (and after Sukkot as well) that is called BaHaB. I read more about this custom here and here. The “B” is for Beis (Monday), the “H” for Hei(Thursday) and the final “B” again is for Monday. Those were the days on which people fasted after Pesach. As it is not considered acceptable to fast in Nissan, which is a happy month, one starts the BaHaB after Rosh Chodesh Iyar.

As I ate too much over the holiday, I really liked the idea that some pious people used to restrain themselves for a few days after the holiday. I actually thought of the idea for this post on Monday, but in order to write the post, I would have to think about food. Again.

Let’s start post-Sedarim. On Wednesday, I baked a delicious banana cake that required seven separated eggs (recipe is in Jeff Nathan’s Adventures in Jewish Cooking) that my family devoured by Thursday. On Thursday night I made blintzes with potato starch, which by the way, is easier than making them with flour. On Thursday morning I baked my sponge cake. Friday was a major cooking day: chicken with lemons and parsley, tongue, potato kugel, meatballs, chicken soup, steamed cauliflower, ratatouille, red cabbage with apples (again, see Jeff Nathan’s Adventures in Jewish Cooking). I also again made my Slavery and Freedom salad, only this time with parsley, because I didn’t have any mint. At least that food had a spiritual value because of its name! My Eldest Son made Pesach brownies, which I didn’t really eat, but I did nibble. On Friday night I was invited to the home of my neighbor the fabulous cook, where I had the great pleasure of meeting blogger Larry Lennhoff and his wife Malka Esther, who promised me at some point she would read and comment on my blog. My neighbor the fabulous cook served: curried carrots, eggplant salad with tomatoes and garlic that my Middle Son actually liked, cucumber salad, a garden salad, soup with matza balls, chicken, potatoes, sweet potatoes, jello and fruit salad with nuts. There were also these chocolate candies on the table, which of course I had to sample. By Sunday lunch I had no need for dessert, but somehow the last of the sponge cake got placed in front of me at dessert time, and somehow I ate one, then two, then three, then four slices. They were little slices. On Sunday afternoon I was offered some brownies at a friend’s house and was pleased with myself that I had the courage to say “no, thank you.” And the conversation about ice cream on Sunday afternoon made me feel like enough is enough.

So maybe I won’t fast next week, but a severely-reduced diet sounds like a welcoming notion.

Years ago I attended a workshop on “I” statements and owning the problem. This is a simple, useful communication idea: instead of placing blame or accusing someone else, one starts a sentence with the word “I” to make it clear that the onus of the problem is on the speaker.

For example:

I have a problem with dog owners who allow their dogs to defecate on my front lawn.

Instead of

Dog owners are lousy human beings who let their dogs defecate on my front lawn.

We all have issues that bother us. If we can realize that the problem is really our own, it might help with communicating the problem to someone else.

Feel free to try this out by leaving a problem starting with “I” (it could be fake) in the comments.

I like to read. But I don’t care for much of the fiction written these days. So I am looking for recommendations; please leave some in the comments. Or else I will read yet another health book.

Some blogger recommendations that sound good:

• The Physician by Noah Gordon (Ilana-Davita’s recommendation)
• The World to Come by Dara Horn (Mother in Israel’s recommendation)
• Being Mrs. Alcott by Nancy Geary (Therapydoc’s recommendation)

A book that sounds somewhat interesting:

(I read The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon and liked it, though I can’t say I loved it. I found the end a bit disappointing).

Update: I was at the library this morning for a meeting (because of budget cuts in Highland Park, the library is now having a part-time consultant–me–update their website instead of a full-time employee). The Highland Park Public Library owns the top three recommended books on this post, as well as three copies of The Lost by Daniel Mendelsohn. It turns out The Lost is a biography, and I was looking for it in fiction! I took out Dara Horn’s book and Nancy Geary’s book. Noah Gordon’s books will have to wait; they were the fattest.