The Peaceful Home

We got a pamphlet in the mail called The Peaceful Home: Thoughts & Insights of Rav Pam zt”l on the topic of Shalom Bayis. (Shalom Bayis means Peace in the Home). Now, with all due respect to Rav Pam zt”l, I want to present one of the topics in the book, and see if you, my readers, can help this couple by making suggestions of how this situation could have been better handled:

A young wife has spent much time and thought preparing a special delicacy that she knows her husband enjoys. She expects him home for dinner at six o’clock. It is 6:15 and then 6:30 and he still hasn’t come. What happened to him? Meanwhile the dinner is getting cold. Should she reheat it for the third time, thereby diminishing its good taste? She turns the flame on and then a few minutes later turns it off again. Finally, at 7:00, the husband walks in. “What happened?” asks the wife. “Oh, nothing,” he replies, “it’s just that my friend needed a ride to the airport and I got a big mitzvah by taking him…”

How could this situation have been better handled? What could the husband or wife have done differently? I’m curious to hear what you have to say. I don’t care if you were raised in the Galapagos Islands by Zulu warriors, I’m interested to hear your thoughts on this situation.

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3 thoughts on “The Peaceful Home

  • Poor communications skills on both parts, I’d say. The husband should have called to say he’d be late, and the wife should have told him that she needed him home at a particular time.

  • Larry, thanks for responding. I agree.

    Mother in Israel, make it up. This is all hypothetical. She could meekly say “What happened?” or she could scream “What happened?”

    In my imagination, she now goes off and complains to her friends about her husband. Instead of saying, can you please call next time? Or, did you realize that it would interfere with supper? Or, “this didn’t work out so well. I’m upset, and you’re telling me about your mitzvah. Can you think how we could have done this differently?” And throw some of the problem-solving to hubby, who clearly isn’t used to having to respond to his wife.

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