Ten Years Later

My mother died ten years ago today. It is her yahrzeit, the anniversary of her death. I lit a memorial candle for her last night, and I had a few friends over for what I call a leil zicharon (night of remembering) or an azkara (memorial).

Pictured in the above photo is a happy little Leora (age 7?) celebrating her birthday with her mom (I hope you aren’t confused by the “her”; I mean “my”, but the 7-year-old seems like a different person). My mother was great at celebrating birthdays.

A few past posts about my mom:
 Birthday Post for Elaine
 Mother and Grandmother
 Elaine Greets a Model

If you have a loved one to remember, what do you do to remember? My mother-in-law says it never gets easy to remember lost loved ones.

24 thoughts on “Ten Years Later

  • Yehi zichrah baruch (may her memory be blessed) and may her neshamah have an aliyah.

    The look of anticipation and excitement on your face in the picture is priceless. Clearly your mother a”h knew how to make just the type of birthday party that you wanted.

    Having a few friends over for an azkarah sounds like a beautiful and meaningful tradition.

  • Thank you, Mrs. S. It was a nice evening, special.
    Thanks, Nonizamboni. I love it when my photo bloggers take a peek at my other posts, too. My mother loved flowers!

  • What a happy picture of you and your mother together.
    It’s been 10 years since I lost my father, and I think of him every day.
    I think that the best way to honor your mother is to tell your children all about her, so that her memory and her goodness lives on.

  • My memories of loved ones are in the garden…I have that moment weather looking at a rose watching a butterfly or feel the soft breeze against my cheek…I know their spirits live on in my garden.

  • Lovely phot of you and your mother. We should always appreciate our mothers more – difficult for ma as mine lives 1000’s of miles away but is always in my thoughts.

  • Baila, having friends visit me last night and blogger friends visit me today has helped a lot. You are a special bunch.

    Ilana-Davita and Raizy, I do try. I don’t always get the warmest reception about past history from my children. Currently, they are very involved in their own little lives. They fortunately have not experienced much sadness or loss.

    Naturegirl, my mother did love a beautiful garden.

  • I think a measure of a human being is in how they are missed after they are gone. Your mother must have been a very special woman indeed. I’m sorry she is no longer here with you physically, but it’s clear that her spirit remains close.

  • LoZ, what is that on our fridge? I never looked before. Collage? No memories of this.

    Robin, somehow this was an easier memorial year, with physical friends coming last night and virtual friends visiting my post. Friendship was one of my mother’s specialties.

  • Dear Leora,
    I have had a peak on your Ruby Tuesday.Always interesting to see what you come up with.
    I stopped here on your memorial blog over your Mama.
    Had to look up the other posts you have written over your Mama and grandmother as well. They were sure made in loving affection, and it warmed my heart to read about their lives. Most of all the picture of the happy little birthday girl, so amazed about her candlelight cream cake.
    I had to go and phone my mother for almost an hour, before I could write my comment.
    I guess I was always most of a Daddy’s girl. The things I cherish and my interests are much inspired by him. He died June 1st last year, and it stills hurts incredibly to know he is not here anymore. I miss sitting by his side both when he read and when we joked about, going in the mountains or reciting poetry.
    I am truly thankful for all that he was, and he was so ill, so I know he’s at peace now. If I didn’t love him, I would not miss him. But I do. I sure do.
    From Felisol

  • Felisol, I’m in tears. Just little ones. Wonderful you loved your Dad as much as you did, as much as it hurts to miss him. I’m glad you called your mother.

  • My father passed in Sept 1997. He was just shy of his 70th birthday. He was a writer, and good at it. You never stop missing them.

    This is a wonderful post.

  • Hi Leora
    I don’t come here often enough. 🙁 I hope the yaharzeit wasn’t too painful.

    I just said goodbye to my parents that day (they left after a 2 week trip here). My father once again cried when saying goodbye. Even though they aren’t in my daily life, I can’t imagine not having them around.

    I’m glad you have great memories of your mom.

  • Abbi, (I assume you are Abbi the Commentator Abbi?)
    Thanks so much for dropping in. After ten years of yahrzeits, this has been the most healing one. I had three wonderful friends spend time with me on Sunday night, I had my beautiful children and my husband around me (with my father bringing me over some homeopathic remedy for my sniffles), and then I get all these wonderful blog visits!

    Hug your parents dearly. Blow them kisses from across the ocean.

  • Great picture, it really captures the moment. I can imagine her singing “Happy Birthday to you…” While she puts the cake on the table. You looking at the candles imagining what you will wish for and then blowing them out…

    But the girl in the lower right hand corner, is she wearing a fake beard? Or is a lady sitting next to her and only part of her head is showing because there’s a birthday hat blocking the rest?

    It’s interesting how you choose a picture of your birthday, a happy celebration, on her 10th year yortzeit, that you still have those fond happy memories of her.

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