Because there was renewed interest on my old post of the Good Little Girl Syndrome, I decided to do a post on healthy anger.
I found these ideas for
healthy anger on various articles on the internet:
- If you are angry with someone else try writing them a letter, write it as messy and mean as you want. Get your anger out in words, when you’re done tear it up, burn it or dispose in a manner where it can not be found. This exercise really helps. (source)
- Talking with someone who is not in any way associated to your anger, talk to them, release your frustration. The person whether a friend, family member, or some one else, they will listen so talk let it out. (source: same as above)
- Perhaps you would rather work out your anger with some physical action, try lifting weights, hitting a punching bag, going for a run or bike ride, jump on your kids trampoline. (source: same as above)
- Know you are angry. Feel it. Some signs of anger: increased heart rate, red, hot face, sweaty palms, clenched fists, tense or shaky body, tightness of the throat. (source)
- If you are coping with a lot of historical anger it might help to write a list of all the people you are angry at and why. Remember you are not planning to share this list with any of the people on it. (source: same as above)
- Even more ideas for dealing with anger in this post (avoiding road rage, guided imagery for old, unresolved anger, anger in dating).
Why is it important to express anger? If you keep it inside, it can become toxic. Anger just is; people often confuse anger with the reaction to anger (for example, rage) or to holding a grudge. In Hebrew the word “ka’as” can mean all three; see my past post on R. Abraham Twerski’s discussion of the word “ka’as”.
If you need help resolving deep, historical anger, please see a good therapist!
Can you extend this list? What are some healthy ways you would suggest for dealing with anger? Or have you had uncomfortable consequences with holding anger inside? Bad experiences with rage, your own or someone else’s?