Sketching Out Blog: Sketches of art, watercolor, photos, recipes, books, interviews, Jewish topics, and Highland Park, New Jersey

Parents Funding Children

Let’s say your teenage or college age child goes away to school. How do you supply funds?

1) Do you provide your child with funds on an as needs basis? When child runs out of money, said child will need to call home to ask for more.

2) Another method: an allowance. Parents deposit a monthly stipend into a bank account, against which their child can draw checks.

3) Do you give the child a credit card? Child pays with plastic.

Telling the kid “go out and get a job” isn’t an option here, but that might be how you would do it.

And what does this have to do with Yitzchak, Yaakov and Esav? Stay tuned.

Ilana-Davita says

Nice way to whet our appetite.
I'd do 2) and 3), 3) being funded by 2).
No way I'd do 1); not a good lesson for real life.

triLcat says

My parents always supplied us with a weekly stipend in cash.

Credit cards are for people who have jobs. If you're really concerned, you can give a credit card with the strict instructions that it's for emergency use only.

If there was a special need for an extra, they'd give us extra cash.

Since their definition of "need" and "extra" didn't always coincide with mine, i would pick up work where I could. In college, for example, I bought myself a computer and a cellphone - my parents went halfsies on the computer, but the cellphone was my money and since I didn't have a regular income, i had to buy pre-paid which was about $250 up front. (this was in '97, before every 4th grader had a cell-phone)

Baila says

In Israel you see the kids here for a year spending their parent's money like it grows on trees (my mother always told me that money didn't). I'm sure many of them have budgets, but many of them don't and frequent the restaurants, hotels, shops etc.

Many parents foster a sense of entitlement in their children, not realizing how much damage it causes.

Klara says

I see the "need" for independence show differently for each of my kids. But I look at it the same way as when they learned to talk or walk, stopped nursing or learned to use the toilet - at their own pace - the question is just how much patience do I have for the rate they're going at??

Michelle says

I will be in the minority here..but my daughter has health issues and her Dad promised her as a teen that if she worked hard, he would back her dream of becoming a psychologist. She worked hard and got her degree this spring. Dad worked an extra job to pay for it. She has never taken advantage nor does she take it for granted. But if she had been well, she could have worked a job along with school as I did...

Leora says

Congratulations to your daughter on her degree, Michelle!

Baila, I've seen that full blown in Deal, New Jersey, kids at age fifteen with credit cards. It's nice that the parents are successful, but the kids need to learn limits. I can't imagine that Israeli parents are letting their kids spend because of great monetary success. But compared to their youth, maybe they feel like the Deal parents.

The Jewish Side says

I've had a credit card since I was 14, for that reason. Well it was more of a debit card, but same idea. If I needed anything I would use the debit card, and then my father would pay me back.

O, I'm having fun with this one, I think I know what it has to do with Yaakov and Eisav. Now I would say I would pick choice 1.

Leora says

Jewish Side, I'm glad you actually thought about the Yaakov Esav connection! I have the rest of the post scheduled for Friday morning. I learned my lesson from last week, to write the parsha post on Wednesday, completely, but schedule part of it for Friday and use Wednesday as a "teaser". We'll see if I can keep this up.
(I have a Sarah post three quarters written, not published...)

The Jewish Side says

Smart idea to start it on Wednesday. It makes it more interactive when you use a teaser post, it also helps connect it with other things.


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